I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
