We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
