This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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