I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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