Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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