i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize