if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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