I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
