Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
