Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
