Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
