Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
