dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize