so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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