margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My boob is missing a layer of skin
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
