you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
