So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
