i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
