How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
