Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
