I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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