She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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