the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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