just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
