I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is it penis luge time yet?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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