The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
