i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
