I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
