is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
