Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
time to smoke my breakfast
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize