I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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