i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
