I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the day after is always just damage control
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize