the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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