She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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