FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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