Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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