Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize