It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm like, not good at living.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
