Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
