If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
