We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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