I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
