Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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