East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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