also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
