...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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