frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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