Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
