brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
