Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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