Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
More tranny stories later!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
