I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
