This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
