do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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