i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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