Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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