i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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