did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
