You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
