you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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